Capi Crim

Just me... part I

Published on September 9, 2004 By Capi Crimini In Home & Family

Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
Hoc tantum posso dicere, non amo te.
-- Martial

or a more common form of...

I do not love thee Dr. Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell,
But this I know, and know full well,
I do not love thee Dr. Fell.

But truly, I express my feelings in the truest form with the poem of said, Dorothy Parker... I give you Frustration...

If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains;

Or had I some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.

But I have no lethal weapon-
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they still are quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.

So what is this? you may ask of me. By no means am I a poet, alas, nor anything important, but I am here, and many people take me for a face value, But like anyone here I teach and learn. This site of recent has degraded, and the dimonds are in the rough, but from my little time here I have seen this place tear and rebuild itself constantly... So what is this you ask?
[FONT=century gothic][COLOR=firebrick]Answers Only bring more Questions.[/COLOR][/FONT]

And inde, I give you the works and lessons of Capi, I have been criticized for wasting space on this board, for posting uselessness, for lacking "substance". So I'll give you what I have.

Est. Capi. Crim

"If you can value
All the simple joys
In each new day,
If you can see the
gift in everything
Life brings your way,
If you can find
Your strength
And all your answers
Deep within,
If you can
Trust yourself enough
To let your dreams
Begin…

If you can learn
And grow
From every challenge
That you face,
If you can know
Each moment
Is the perfect time
And place,
If you can recognize
Yourself
In others' hopes
And fears,
If you can feel
Compassion
For your own
And others' tears…

If you can understand
Your thoughts
Help shape the world you see,
If you can sense that you create
Your own reality,
If you can comfort someone else
And be a friend who cares,
If you can believe
Real wealth comes from
The riches that one shares,
If you can live life fully
And enjoy it heart and soul,
If you can just accept
Those twists and turns you can't control,
If you can show integrity
In every choice you make -
'Then your journey
Will be filled with joy,
Whichever paths you take."

- Aaron J. Yager

-----

I guess to understand my views you would have to understand me, my history, my choices, my falls, and my gains, but since eternal, previously known as CrazyKid [whom I must admit had a much cooler name first time round], as I was saying CRAZYKID the basturd

BEAT ME to the punch... I'll give you what you need when you need it, and right now, before I embark on the lessons, I'll give you a taste.

The family I was born into was torn, quite amazing how torn it was for the present situation. My mother was quite crazy with her bi-polar disease, and my sisters with rising and falling estrogen levels made for a "different" enviroment. My father was at the time, and is a PR, so he spent most of his time on an airplane. and spent a few days home a month. Also during this time, my mother, was having bad migranes. At her worst point she was hospitalized for a few weeks in a Chicago Hospital. My whole family also had to deal with other issues as well, like my parents previous spouses, and previous children, glad to say I was supposed to be the only normal one of the family... I was always said to have the "good" life. Mainly because of all the oppertunities...

So in this turmoil, two major events happened that one must note.

I. My Sisters became my parents.
II. I learned to Shell.

Of Point one... Having sisters as parents, I am more effeminent then most men. I do not like sports or fighting, I find pleasures in softer platues of the human condition. I find words stronger then grunt force...but doley, one should keep in mind. I am not queer, I do not like men, In fact with my more effeminent upbringing I became more manly then other men in most ways... Instead of sports I played with the girls, and more-over explored the carnal.

I kissed more girls more times in the time between pre-school and 3rd grade then the average boy would in Highschool. Yes, youth is innocence, but I took advantage of that, good and bad.

I could woo any girl easily, because of my upbringing, I understood women, I understood the simplicities and complexities of them. Almost every girl that knew me had a crush on me.

The bad of this was, I misinterpreted carnal love for sensual love, this fucked me up then and now. Mainly because after I realized the misinterpretation, I swung to the other drastic side, to misinterpret the carnal for the sensual.

II. I learned to Shell, meaning my emotions. I don't know why or when i developed this. I can easily say this also fucked me up badly to this day. It is one of the main reasons I am so messed up. I learned to hold in my emotions. In this I also learned to mimmic emotions. This is why everyone agrees I am a great actor.

Comments

godsjewl

on Sep 13, 2004

aww...sorry your coding did not work out for you..

Capi Crimini

on Sep 14, 2004

oh... yeah... lol. thats cause thats in PHPbb coding... I typed it for somewhere else and just palced it here. i could fix it by moving it to HTML meaning making the [ ]'s 's

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